THE STRESS of having kids home for the summer
Highly intelligent people are the best at telling BULLET PROOF stories that keep us from pushing ourselves every day...
I did a blog post a few days ago called THE STORIES THAT HOLD US BACK and in that post I talked about how we tell stories about our life and the moments that fill it. Today I experienced a really overwhelming story. If you have ever felt ANY kind of negative emotion that really sent you into a spin then WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW
Here are my answers to the simple questions
1. What is the Situation that Triggered You?
My kids came home and I am feeling claustrophobic.
2. What is the Story, created by that Trigger that you are telling yourself (and others)?
They are home and I will not be able to get my work done.
3. Is that Story True?
4. Are You 100% Sure that Story It’s True?
5. What feelings come up for you when you believe this Story to be True? (Make a list)
I feel stress and overwhelm.
6. What specific thoughts or desired actions arise as from those feelings? (Make a list)
I hide. I hide as often as I can. The bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen, ANYWHERE! I try to go wherever they are not.
7. If you step back from this story for a second, what do you want in this moment For You, For them, For you both?
I want for me to get my work done so I can make plenty of money hitting our goals so that we can do more awesome stuff together as a family and I can continue to help other people do what we do. I want for my kids to be good at entertaining themselves WITHOUT food or mobile devices. I want for us to support each other in the family goals.
8. Will the current story give you what you want?
9. What might be possible for you in this situation if the Current Story was False?
I would be able to communicate with them and come up with a plan together to help each other get what we all want.
1a. What is the Original Story?
My kids are home and I will not be able to get any work done.
1b. What Evidence do you have to prove this Story True?
Today I did NOTHING!
2a. What is the ME Version?
I am home and I will not be able to get any work done
2b. What Evidence do you have to prove this Story True?
Even when I am home and they are home I am still not getting work done.
3a. What is the Opposite Version?
My kids are home and I WILL be able to get work done.
3b. What Evidence do you have to prove this Story True?
I am doing this AND they all are home.
4a. What is the Desired Version?
I can get all my work done with ALL my kids home because we worked together to come up with a plan.
4b. What Evidence do you have to prove this Story True?
My kids actually do listen to me when they know they will get something awesome out of it.
5. Which version of the Story are you choosing and why?
I am choosing the last story because that story gives me something to do about this.
A POSITIVE FOCUS
1. What Happened?
I did the work on my anxiety with my kids being home for the summer and I was able to find a solution by answering simple questions.
2. Why is that positive?
That's a positive because this stressful situation just turned into one I now KNOW I can do something about.
3. What is the Lesson You Learned?
The lesson I learned is that when I get proper perspective on my stories I can turn them into work that will produce results instead of frustrations.
HOW CAN THIS APPLY?
4. When it comes to my health all I have to do is answer these questions when I get frustrated with my knees or back when I try to play basketball.
5. It applies to my spirit by remembering that all negative experiences have a strong positive direction when I take a moment and look at them all from a different angle.
6. When it comes to my relationships I can use this every time my kids, my wife, my friends, my business partners OR my mom does something that makes me sad, angry, lonely or depressed. THEN GET TO WORK
7.With my business once I get a good look at where I am I can always take a look at what's actually going on at all times and never be afraid of anything that appears to be negative.
8.DO THE WORK every time I feel stress! THIS WILL GET ME BACK IN MY POWER POSITION OF TAKING ACTION instead of living in fear.
9. In the next 48 hours... I am calling a family meeting and I am discussing productivity with my kids and showing them my goals especially how when mom and dad hit their goals they get BIG REWARDS. THEN invite them to get clear about what they want to accomplish this summer and invite me to help support them in getting those things.
THIS WAS HOW I SHIFTED MY THOUGHTS INSTEAD OF LETTING MY STORY KEEP ME FROM MOVING FORWARD
DO the work for yourself with a story you are telling yourself right now. SAHRE YOUR RESULTS in the comments!
1. What was your original story?
2. What was the DESIRED story?
3. What are you doing in the next 48 hours?
Share so others can also gain strength.