YOU CAN'T GROW WHAT YOU DON'T MEASURE
Think of actually growing a plant. How do you know how much water to give it if you don't look at it? How do you know if it's getting enough sunlight if you aren't checking on it form time to time during the day? How do you decide how well what you are doing is working if you don't take the time to measure how much things changed after you did the work on it?
WHY DO WE FEEL LIKE WE CAN GROW WITHOUT MEASURING WHERE WE ARE?
The main reason we don't take a measurement of where we are is because we are terrified of our own unfair judgments. We are never where we want to be and so there is always a focus on what we are doing wrong. Then because we focus on what we are doing wrong we actually label ourselves with words like "Lazy", "Unfocused", "Disorganized", "Unworthy" and then on and on we go beating ourselves up.
NO ONE LIKES TO BE REMINDED OR SHOWN HOW MUCH OF A FAILURE WE ARE
So we avoid doing the ONE THING that will actually make it possible for us to grow.
THAT CRAP HAS TO STOP NOW!
THE BEST BOOK ABOUT THIS SUBJECT I HAVE EVER READ...
JUST READ PAGE 20 FOR FREE... it's a real eye opener
There is a real "UPPER LIMIT" problem with all people. The most important step is finally to let go of our denial of it so we can actually do something about it. STRATEGICALLY!
HOW DO I DO THE WORK TO HELP MYSELF GET PAST MY LIMITING BELIEFS?
Here is a sample of a form I fill out every day. I think of some area of my life where I am telling STORIES that cause some kind of negative emotion.
Then I DO THE WORK!
This is not easy for me. I am totally opening myself up here to you. The only reason I am doing it because I believe somehow... my painful stories will help you realize you're not alone AND give you some direction on how to handle yours.
1. I started out awesome playing basketball this morning and then tired out REALLY FAST. It was frustrating.
The story I started telling myself was that I am too old for this. Upleveling myself physcally is going to be too hard and take too long.
3. Is that Story True? No... because I can't actually know that is true.
4. Are You 100% Sure that Story It’s True? No
5. The feelings that come up when I think it is true is I get sick physically and embarrassed.
6. The actions that directly follow this belief is that I want to quit. I want to stop coming to play ball with these guys who have been doing the work consistently
7. If I can step back away from this belief what I really want is to be in shape. I want Basketball to be fun. I want to love Basketball instead of fear it.
8. Will my current belief give me what I want? No
9. What would happen if the belief was NOT TRUE is I would be free to take the daily steps necessary to get my body going daily.
THIS WAS A POWERFUL REVELATION FOR ME BECAUSE I REALIZED I WAS CREATING ALL OF IT... ESPECIALLY SINCE I COULDN'T POSSIBLY KNOW IT WAS TRUE!
Now time to figure out a plan of action
The original belief was that I am too old to level up the way I really want to and need to in order to get what I want.
THE EVIDENCE I had that made think it was true is that it hurt today and I came near throwing up.
2a. WHAT IS A SCARY POSSIBILITY HERE? I don’t want to get in shape. I want to sleep in every day and still expand.
2b. The evidence I have for this is I did it for the last 6 months. Which is why I am where I am physically.
3a. What is the opposite of the original belief?I do want to get in shape and I’m not too old.
3b. The EVIDENCE I have that it's true is that I got up and I did the work. Even through it wasn’t pretty I was still able to do it.
4a. Which of these beliefs is the most desirable? That I am not too old. I am ready and I do want this.
4b. The Evidence I have that this is true us that I got up. I did the work. I am doing this work to make sure I am clear about my stories. I also just realized that I was subconsciously preparing to not do the work tomorrow morning.
5. After reviewing all the possible beliefs I am choosing the last version. It’s the ONLY version that will get me the results I want AND have promised to my wife and family. To the people who follow me and see me as a source of inspiration, leadership and training. If I don’t take this story on I will fail. It’s my only hope.
THAT IS HOW I REALIZED WHAT I WANT IS ALL MINE FOR THE TAKING... I JUST NEEDED TO LOVE ME AND THEN DO THE WORK.